So we all know that when you go to adopt, you are bombarded with checks. And rightly so. I'm looking into it now, and its pretty daunting, I would love to adopt, and do it CORRECTLY, or atleast attempt, there are so many pros and cons to adopting. My story is of an adoption that went wrong. Hugely. So if you're looking to adopt, please dont be disheartened by my story, but be inspired, as the difference here is, I know EXACTLY what went wrong. And what could have been done to prevent disaster.
Anyways, back to the checks, theres step one, health checks, CRB's, basically to see if as a human being, you can make a fit parent. then theres step two. 'Getting to know you.' They want to know everything about you, what your friends think of how, how is your personal family life, your past and present relationships, your morals and principles.Bladdy blah. Now I was adopted in 1995, nearly 20 years ago.....(wait...what?!?!?!) anyways.....So I'm guessing the process back then would have been a little different, but basically the same kind of intentions. But I would have loved to be the fly on the wall back then when my 'parents to be' had the religious conversation with the social workers. I imagine their eyes would have lit up with joy and anticipation.
''A Christian Family?? What could be more loving, gracious and accepting? They're christians after all. They can't do wrong. Especially seen has he has churches all over the world.....what could possibly go wrong??''
If I had a voice at 3, and the mind I have now, I'd be willing the social workers to be more diligent and intrusive. Because as it turned out, theire religion was one of the biggest poisons of my childhood. What I see to be a christian nowadays, (and I see alot of good ones, what I call 'proper christians') is exactly the complete opposite of what my adoptive parents were.
Sure, social services become all intrusive when it comes to mental illness, or physical illness, or your jobs, and your tempermant, but what is it with religion. As soon as someone says their religious and lead a curch, the social workers seem to have this invisible curtain pulled over their eyes and all their worries go away.
I am NOT FOR ONE SECOND saying that christian families or of any other religion can not or shouldnt adopt, but what I am saying, religion shouldnt be a factor to presume that a family is idealic and perfect for a child just because they believe in an almighty loving god. Checks should be done into how their church is run, do they live out what they preach, and do they have compassion, grace, and all the other 'fruits' of the spirit. Because I'll tell you what, I'm almost certain my story would be a different one, if social workers didnt pussyfoot round religious people.
