Saturday, 25 August 2012

Says Simon....

''He lives just there across the road, he's new, go invite him for a drink!''
''OOOh, hes new? Whats his name?''
''I dunno! Go find out...''
I drunkedly skipped out Cory's door nearly getting hit by a cyclist.....''Sorry! ahahaa'' I waved as he angrily gave me a dirty look riding away.
I looked back to her window, where she snickered....''This one?'' I pointed. She nodded.
I looked up, he had a small iron gate between a brick wall, and some concrete steps leading up to a solid, wooden door painted a dark green, with a golden knocker.
I boldly and arrogantly knocked with my knuckles, and went to stand back on the pavement. It was about 11pm, most likely on a Saturday night.....I was 15, as usual, absconding from my kids home, to get bladdered and stoned at Cory's house.
A tall guy opened the door, with a light brown mop hair, and big brown eyes.
''HI!! Im reeaaallly sorry to bother you, but you see my friend over there?'' (she wasnt there, awkward) ''okay she is there but anyways, baaaaasically were just avin a feeew drinks, she said your new and to invite you, i didnt wanna knock on but she toootallly forced me, so anyways....i think were gonna have a splif in abit tooo. Ya coming?? Oh Im Kez, nice to meet ya.'' I slurred and hiccupped through my awkward and completely hyper introduction. He leaned against his door frame, his house looked cosy inside, warm and welcoming. A black cat weaved between his legs. He picked it up, smiled, and said ''You finished?''
''Er yeah....''. ''Im Simon, gimme half hour, I'll be over.''
I happily skipped away, burst back into the house to Pat and Cory. ''He's coming!! Pat you got a spliff for him right, coz I already promised him one! Okay ok, he can share mine.'' Cory is 30. Pat is 35. Jack, 10, is in the corner playing on his playstation. And were all doing shots, smoking weed and snorting whiskey and coke up our nose.And I'm the 15 year old guest.
Cha Cha slide came on somehow, probably watching late rubbish music channel. I screeched, this was the one song that got me going especially when drinking. I got Cory up, begging her to do it with me, knowing that Pat was enjoying watching a young teenage girl that he blatantly couldnt have as I precariously strutted my stuff, drunkedly. Playing it as innocent banter, yet catching an middle-aged man's eyes. I was lethal then. I was vulnerable, I knew what my kids home and other people had a label on me as, but I was just as to blame for any misfortune that may come my way. I only knew of misfortune though. I always needed danger around me to keep me going. These were the good days. Simon walked in halfway through it, I waved a little laughing with Cory, and ran up to him...''Look here, this is Cory, and pat, you want a drink? Ill get you a drink....''
Me and Cory danced to another song as these 2 men sat there sharing a spliff. Pat was always quiet, but you saw him sitting there longing for something. Pat is another kettle of fish. Simon had the sweetest smile, and biggest eyes and nicest lips. He clapped afterwards as if we did it just for him. Well, I kinda did. I wasn't to know though the kind of relationship me and Simon would end up in. He was fresh meat for me to play with. He was a new topic and focus. It was one of complete attachment, and lust, and in no way was it premeditated.
This is the story of a 15 year old girl that led on a 30 year old man, with a weed addiction and massive depression problems, and to this day, does not know what happened to him or where he is now. The note we left on was heart breaking, and still to this day is.
Im nearly 21 years old, my life is completely different, and I remember of all the older men that categorically did use and abuse me, but I sense to this day a big loss. I miss Simon. What was there and what could have been will never be known. But in the oddest of circumstances, I look at it now as something that I wish I hadnt lost.

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